Editing practice #1

   There is one sport that is missing from the Olympic line up:  video games.

Write a clear thesis statement for this persuasive essay.

Serious video gamers spend hours learning strategies of how to play and win.  This is similar to athletes who study the strategies of their sport.

Add a compound sentence at the end of the paragraph.

     Videos games aren’t taken seriously.  My dad thinks it’s a waste of time.  People may think it’s just a game, but can’t we say the same thing about basketball or volleyball?  Video games require a high level of skill from the player.

What detail should be eliminated?

Video games provide valuable hand-eye coordination practice.  Kids and adults can practice this skill by playing fast-paced games.  Video games are also fun for the whole family; they bring families together.

The writer is having trouble distinguishing between fact and opinion. Your mission:  Identify the opinion and the facts in the paragraph.

      In order for the sport of videos games to be an Olympic game, the public needs to realize it’s a serious sport.  Video games require the same degree of dedication, practice, and strategy as other sports.

Revise or add a sentence using a semicolon.