Use tell when you mention the listener​

Mary told her parents to stay home

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Use say when you don't mention the listener​

Mary said to stay home

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When say and tell are in the past tense​. The verbs in the indirect speech statement often change.

They said, "The weather is awful"​

​Present becomes Past

They said (that) the weather was awful​

​Past becomes Past Perfect

Dan said (that) we all had had the flu​

They said, "There will be snow tonight"​

​Will becomes Would

They said there would be snow tonight​

My husband said, "You can come with me"

​Can becomes Could

My husband said I could come with him

Dan said, "We all had the flu"​