Personal Essay Writing

1. Journal 10

2. Review Introduction 15-20

3. Review Body Paragraph 20-25

4. Outline remainder

​

Outline for today:

^{When is a child old enough to stay home alone?}

^{Is this a valid thesis?}

No, it does not identify the topic.

A valid thesis:

Eleven is when a child is old enough to stay home because they can make good choices, they are independent , and need practice being an adult.

Should students wear school uniforms?

• Identifies Topic

• Includes Opinion

• Includes 3 point reasons

Revise Thesis

Revise your thesis to match the same format of the example below:

Early College taught me how to grow as a student because I had to adjust to taking classes with older students, build resilience to handle the heavier workload, and gain confidence in my ability to succeed

• Used only in the introduction paragraph. ​

• 1-2 sentences.​

• Start at the beginning of the essay.

• Grabs the reader's attention. ​

• Makes your essay interesting.

• Helps to introduce your essay topic. ​

• interesting

• catch the attention of the reader

• related to the topic you are writing about

​Did you know _____ ?

Have you ever wondered ____? ​

Did you know that Disneyland was not the first California theme park, but Knotts Berry Farm was? Knotts Berry Farm found its beginnings in a small California community of Buena Park in 1920?

​What do you notice in this example?

​Picture this ______ .

Imagine ______ . ​

Imagine you are in line at Disneyland to grab a churro. What do you smell, you smell the sweet smell of cinnamon, flavored with hot fried dough.

​What do you notice in this example?

How do you find the courage to belong in a place where everyone seems to be years ahead of you?

My Example:

• Vivid scene → The hallway roared as I clutched my schedule like a lifeline.
  

• Surprising statement → I didn’t expect my first day of Early College to feel like an easy-going day.
  

• Dialogue → “You’re the youngest one here, right?” a classmate asked.
  

• Question → What do you do when everyone around you seems smarter than you?

Types of hooks:

whats included

• Comes after the hook and before the thesis.

• Gives your reader just enough context (time, place, situation).

• Prepares the reader for the story without telling the whole thing.

Tips:

• Answer: Who? Where? When?

• Keep it short (2–3 sentences).

  1. Don’t give away the lesson yet! …just set the scene.

Example Questions to think about:

1. Who are the important people you notice at the start?
   

2. Where does the story take place?
   

3. When does the story seem to happen?
   

4. What situation or problem is introduced?

Example:

Starting Early College in August 2014 meant being one of the youngest students on campus. I walked into classrooms where most of my classmates were years older, already confident in themselves. The workload was heavier than anything I had seen before, and every day I wondered if I could keep up and truly belong.

Revise Your Introduction paragrapgh

• ​It is where you write about the reasons to support your claim

• ​It is where you back up what you are saying

• ​​There are 3 body paragraphs in a 5 paragraph essay.

• ​Each reason from your thesis becomes the topic of a body paragraph.

Each body paragraph is like a building block of your essay. It proves one of the three reasons in your thesis. By the end, your reader should fully understand your lesson or story.

Example (Early College thesis):

• Thesis: Going to Early College has taught me adjustment, resilience, and confidence.

• Body Paragraph 1 → Adjustment

• Body Paragraph 2 → Resilience

• Body Paragraph 3 → Confidence

Very similar to RACE/ACE, but since we are writng a personal essay, you will be using TEXAS (Topic sentence, Explanation, eXample, Analysis, Summary sentence)

Using Texas to format your body paragraphs:

1. Topic Sentence – State the reason (from thesis).

2. Explanation – Expand on what you mean.

3. EXample/Story Detail – Give a personal example.

4. Analysis/Reflection – Explain the significance.

5. Summary/Closing Sentence – Wrap up the paragraph.

what is a topic sentence:

• First sentence of a body paragraph.

• Tells the reader which reason from your thesis this paragraph will cover.

• Acts like a “mini-thesis” for the paragraph.

Topic sentence examples:

Thesis: Going to Early College has taught me adjustment, resilience, and confidence.

• “One important lesson I learned at Early College was how to adjust to new situations.”

• “Another skill I developed through Early College was resilience, even when things felt overwhelming.”

• “Finally, Early College gave me confidence to take on challenges.”

what are sentence starters/ transition?

• A sentence starter or transition is a word or phrase that helps you begin a sentence in a clear and formal way.

• They guide you into your idea without starting with “I think” or “I’m going to talk about” or "Well, let me tell you abut..."

• Good sentence starters = formal, focused, connected to thesis or topic at hand.

Example sentence starters:

• “One important lesson I learned was…”

• “Through this experience, I discovered…”

• “A challenge I overcame was…”

• “This experience taught me the value of…”

Some more examples for my essay:

Thesis: Going to Early College has taught me adjustment, resilience, and confidence.

• “One important lesson I learned at Early College was how to adjust to new situations.”

• “Another skill I developed was resilience, even when things felt overwhelming.”

• “Finally, Early College gave me confidence to take on challenges.”

What is the explanation?

• Sentences that expand on the topic sentence.

• Answers: “What do I mean by that reason?”

• Helps the reader understand the situation before the story detailin 1-2 sentences.

explanation guided questions:

• Why was this lesson hard at first?

• What challenges did I face?

• How did I feel before I learned the lesson?

• What did I have to get used to?

example with my essay:

Topic: Adjustment

• Topic Sentence: One important lesson I learned at Early College was how to adjust to new situations.

• Explanation: At first, I felt out of place because the classes were harder and the expectations were higher than in middle school.

what is an example?

• The specific moment or story that shows your reason in 1-2 sentences.

• Makes your writing personal and unique.

• One clear story is stronger than a list.

example sentence:

• Body Paragraph Topic: Adjustment

  • Sentence Starter: One important lesson I learned at Early College was how to adjust to new situations.

  • Explaination: At first, I felt out of place because the classes were harder and the expectations were higher than in middle school.

  • Example: During my first week, I had to balance homework from both high school and college.

what is your refelction?

• Explains the lesson you learned from the example.

• Answers: “Why does this story matter?”

Reflection Sentence starters:

• “This taught me that…”

• “From this, I realized…”

• “This helped me see that…”

• “I learned that…”

Example:

• Body Paragraph Topic: Adjustment

  • Sentence Starter: One important lesson I learned at Early College was how to adjust to new situations.

  • Explaination: At first, I felt out of place because the classes were harder and the expectations were higher than in middle school

  • Example: During my first week, I had to balance homework from both high school and college.

  • Reflection: Learning to adjust taught me that change can be difficult, but it helps you grow.

what is a closing sentence:

• Wraps up the paragraph.

• Links back to the thesis.

• Prepares reader for the next reason.

Closing sentence starters:

• “As a result…”

• “This experience prepared me to…”

• “In the end…”

Example from me: Adjustment

• Sentence Starter: One important lesson I learned at Early College was how to adjust to new situations.

• Explaination: At first, I felt out of place because the classes were harder and the expectations were higher than in middle school

• Example: During my first week, I had to balance homework from both high school and college.

• Reflection: Learning to adjust taught me that change can be difficult, but it helps you grow.

• Closing Sentence: Learning how to adjust to new situations not only made me more flexible, but it also prepared me to build the resilience I would need when challenges became even more difficult

Example of body paragraph 1:

One important lesson I learned at Early College was how to adjust to new situations. At first, I felt out of place because the classes were harder and the expectations were higher than in middle school. During my first week, I had to balance homework from both high school and college. Learning to adjust taught me that change can be difficult, but it helps you grow. Learning how to adjust to new situations not only made me more flexible, but it also prepared me to build the resilience I would need when challenges became even more difficult.

Write your 1st body paragraph:

1. Topic Sentence → State your first reason from the thesis.

2. Explanation → Expand. Why was this lesson hard?

3. Example/Story → Give one clear moment.

4. Reflection → What did this teach you?

5. Closing Sentence → Wrap it up + transition to the next reason.

One important lesson I learned at Early College was how to adjust to new situations. At first, I felt out of place because the classes were harder and the expectations were higher than in middle school. During my first week, I had to balance homework from both high school and college. Learning to adjust taught me that change can be difficult, but it helps you grow. Learning how to adjust to new situations not only made me more flexible, but it also prepared me to build the resilience I would need when challenges became even more difficult.