Revising and Editing with RADaR

Replace…
•Words that are not specific
•Words that are overused
•Sentences that are unclear

Add…
•New information
•Descriptive adjectives and adverbs
•Rhetorical or literary devices

Delete…
•Unrelated ideas or unnecessary details
•Sentences that sound good, but do not make sense
•Repeated words or phrases

Reorder…
•Organize to support the purpose of the piece
•To make better sense or to flow better
•So details should support the main ideas

R=

A=

Da=

R=

Replace…What word/words
could I replace?

� As I ran to the finish line, my heart was racing.

� As I sprinted to the finish line, my heart was pounding!

� How did the writer replace the overused verb ran?

� What other replacements do you see?

� How did they improve the text?

Add – What words could I
add?

� Shadows made the night seem scary.

� Ominous shadows made the calm night seem frightfully scary.

� How did the second sentence make you

feel, compared with the first?

Delete – What words might I
delete?

� The candidates talked about the issues, and many

of the issues were issues that had been on voters’
minds.

� The candidates talked about the issues, many of

which had been on voters’ minds.

� Describe the revision you see.

� How did taking out unnecessary repetition of the

word issues help the sentence flow more naturally?

“Issues” was deleted twice.

Reorder –
How should this be organized for easier
understanding?

� Put the walnuts over the strawberries, which

are on top of the pineapple in a bowl. You’ll
have a delicious fruit salad!

� To make a delicious fruit salad, cut pineapple

into a bowl, add strawberries and then
sprinkle a few walnuts over the top.

Much

easier to
visualize!

Your turn…

� Use the RADaR method to revise the

following sentences:

1. She likes cookies.

2. My aunt drove her car.

3. He was pretty sure the skunk was hiding.

4. Mitzy broke the zipper. She wasn’t

worried.

5. It was cold outside.