RULER Tools: Best Self, Meta-Moment & Blueprint

Recognize

Understand

Label

Regret

Being perfect all the time

Behaving according to your core values and beliefs

Doing what others expect of you

Never making mistakes

Sense

React immediately

Pause

Strategize & Act

Deep breathing

Counting to 10

Ignoring your feelings

Journaling

Yes

Definitely

Of course

Nah

A month later, Jane and her friend aren’t speaking. The conflict between them has caused a rift in their friendship group. Some people have taken Jane's side, while others have backed her former best friend. Every recess is DRAMA.

The friend explains she only had 1 ticket & knew that the new student had never been. She apologizes for not telling Jane first. Jane says that she's disappointed but understands. A month later, they’re still friends.

Yell at his parents that he will never be good enough for them.

Sense that he is feeling upset and defensive.

Pause and take a deep breath.

Tell his parents that he needs to take a walk first, but that he will talk to them about it later.

To help reflect on situations from multiple perspectives

To resolve and prevent conflicts

To ignore difficult emotions

To build understanding of how everyone is feeling