R Factor Press Pause

​We can only plan our R as well as we understand the situation. A great deal of empathy as well as other skills are useful here.

Some potential problems....

​Spotlight effect

​Negativity Bias

​Confirmation Bias

Spotlight Effect implies that we

look at certain aspects

more than others. ​

Confirmation Bias termed on

our focusing on aspects of

the event that make us look better

*** Check your ego​

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​We have a tendency to see things that are bad

​focus on the negative

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​Be sure we aren't seeing some good stuff in there and it isn't so bad as we might be leading ourselves to believe.

​It is important to not only pause but

to know the difference in WHEN one pauses

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​* One pauses before events transpire

​* After the event has happened

​* After you have responded

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​These are called Proactive, Situational and Reflective Pauses

• ​What do I not see that I need?

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• ​What do I see but am discounting

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• ​What am I pretending NOT to see

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• ​How do others see this situation

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​MANY series of self reflection

​questions are important: here are other challenging questions to ask

​With this pause you BEFORE events happen,

you consider some frequent events in your life

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​MAKE A PLAN

​What are some responses that you've made in the past that do NOT work

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​What are some responses you could make that will

EARN you to the an Outcome toward your goals

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​What outcome do you want? What'll be the event? What's your response?

​AS the event is happening be sure to think about the outcome AS the event is unfolding and perhaps even consider some of the four questions from the previous lesson.

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​What do you not see that you need

​What do you see but are ignoring

​What are you pretending NOT to see

​What are others seeing about this situation

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​Clarify your Outcome, consider how much time the Event gives you

​deliver your intentional Response

​After you have responded, and likely responded to that response, you'll need to PRESS PAUSE again as or before the next event has happened. You will need to be a good listener, envision yourself as a good conversationalist, focus on their content.

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​When you've time, how did your responses go?

​How might you change what you'd done? Will you get to do this again?

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