Writing - Common mistakes + Cohesion

If more trees are planted, the environment will be saved.

All apples are red.

Women are better at multi-tasking than men.

Students who leave school at 16 don’t get good jobs.

People today eat too much fast food.

Working shifts makes employees depressed.

Red roses cannot survive long winters, because in my garden two red roses died over a long winter.

Play is an essential part of the learning process for children.

It is important for children to try to learn another language early in their education.

Living in big cities is very stressful, big cities are too over crowded.

Social networkings have bad effects on young children's minds

Youngsters are more influenced by their peers than their parents

Global warming will become a much more serious issue in the next 20 years.

Link the setences by pronouns

Many people enjoy retirement.

They find they have the time for activities they enjoy.

Join the sentences using apposition

Over the last two decades, population ageing has accelerated in the UK.

Population ageing is a common trend through out the developed world.

Link the sentences using this/ these + summary word.

The population in urban areas has grown particularly quickly.

The population growth in urban areas has put pressure on local services.

Link the sentences using coordinating conjunctions (And, but, for, nor, or, so, and yet)

There are more job opportunities in cities.

People migrate to cities from rural areas.

Link the sentences using subordinating conjunctions (than, rather than, whether, as much as, whereas, that, whatever, which, whichever, after, as soon as, as long as, before, by the time, now that, once, since, till, until, when, whenever, while, though, although, even though, who, whoever, whom, ...)

Couples are under pressure to work.

Couples often delay starting a family.

Link the sentences by relative pronouns ("that," "which," "who," "whom," and "whose.")

Lower mortality is due to increased longevity.

Increased longevity results from improved healthcare.

_{Link the sentences by sentence linkers : ADDITION – and, plus, furthermore, moreover, in addition, also, as well as./ TIME – when, while, as, as soon as./ SEQUENCE – then, after, afterwards, next, firstly, secondly, finally./ CONTRAST – but, however, though, although, nevertheless, despite, whereas, while.}

_Eg:

_{People want to enjoy retirement.}

_{People do not alwasy save enough for a comfortable retirement.}

^{Which cohesive devices are used in the below passage:}

^{Decreasing birth rates can be attributed to two main factors, namely: availability of family planning and changes in how people feel about work and family. These changes include greater career aspirations among women, a tendency to delay marriage, and a preference for smaller families. Lower mortality, on the other hand, is due to increase longevity, which result from improved healthcare and better living conditions.}

The bar chart shows the percentage of people who were over the age of sixty-five in 2000. The bar chart shows the percentage of people expected to be over the age of sixty-five in 2030. The bar chart gives firgures for seven different countries.

Korea, Mexico, and Turkey are all developing or newly industrialised countries. Korea, Mexico, and Turkey are all expected to experience large increases in the proportion of the population that is elderly.

The biggest increase is likely to occur in Korea. The proportion of pensioners in Korea is expected to increase from ten percent to 35 percent.

The changes in all three countries will occur from a relatively low base. The predicted proportion of elderly residents will still be lower than that expected in developed economies.