CARMS/CUPS Mini Lesson

(1) A deer crash through the windshield of a Virginia school bus and landed on a student who was taking a nap during the morning commute. - What change should be made in sentence 1?

(5) The bus driver opens the doors and deer runs out, the footage shows. (6) The driver calls for assistance and states the vehicle was on Route 13, near Anderson Highway. (7) The student was not injured. (8) The driver said, the deer ran off into the distance and did not appear to be injured.

- You need to add a sentence to the end of the second paragraph to bring the paragraph to a more effective closing. Which of the following should be added at the end of the 2nd paragraph to help close this paragraph?

(8) The driver said, the deer ran off into the distance and did not appear to be injured.

- What change should be made in sentence 8?

(9) Brian Bartlett, the districts interim director of transportation, praised the driver's actions during the incident. - What change should be made in sentence 9?

(3) The footage shows the bus in transit when a deer crashes through the windshield on the opposite side from where the driver is seated and flips over a seating barrier to land on a student who was sleeping. (4) The students was wearing his favorite baseball cap. (5) The bus driver opens the doors and deer runs out, the footage shows. (6) The driver calls for assistance and states the vehicle was on Route 13, near Anderson Highway. - The author has included an extraneous sentence in the 2nd paragraph (sentences 3–6). Which sentence should be deleted from this paragraph?

(12) "He did a very good job at keeping the bus safe and he did a very good job keeping the kids on the bus safe."

- What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 12?