Being an Active Listener

Hearing is a natural ability; your ears pick up sounds

Listening means directing your attention to what you're hearing and trying to make sense of it.

While someone is talking, ask yourself questions about what the person is saying and then try to answer the questions. --What is the speaker telling me? Do I understand this? What don't I understand about what I'm hearing? Does this make sense to me?

Try to picture what the person is saying. Mental pictures are especially helpful for people with a visual learning style.

Every so often, summarize what the person is saying. --What are the main points of what's already been said?

Make sure your posture is open and interested (e.g. no slumping).

Nod occasionally.

Smile and use other facial expressions.

Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments such as "yes" and "uh huh."

Paraphrase what you're hearing by saying, "What I'm hearing is. . ." and "It sounds as if you are saying. . .

If you find yourself responding emotionally, say so and ask for more information. "I may not be understanding you correctly, and I find myself taking what you said personally. I thought you said ____. Is that what you meant?"

Look at the person who is speaking. Make eye contact if possible.

Listen first, judge later. Listen to everything the speaker has to say before you decide how you feel about it. If you begin to react in the middle of listening, then you may miss what the person says next.

Take notes if you need to remember what has been said.